Life Transitions Counseling
Is A Big Life Transition Causing Mixed Emotions For You?
Are you experiencing a life transition that’s bringing up a variety of feelings? When thinking about the future, do your emotions fluctuate from excitement to dread? Wouldn’t it be helpful to sort out your complicated feelings about what’s happening in a safe, non-judgmental environment?
Embarking on something new in life can lead to a confusing mixture of emotions, both positive and negative. If the change is something you’ve been striving for—whether it’s relocating, retiring, changing careers, or having a baby—you may be excited by the idea of reaching a new milestone. However, once the dust settles, you may realize that eager anticipation is accompanied by a sense of fear and self-doubt.
Maybe your life has settled into a predictable routine and the idea of disrupting its equilibrium is scary. And if you’re anxious that the impending transition will cause big adjustments to how you live, such as becoming a new parent or adapting to a new culture, you may lack the confidence that you’re up for the challenge. The additional demands this change will put on you may seem overwhelming.
Not All Life Transitions Are Your Choice
If you are experiencing a life transition that wasn’t your choice, you probably feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you. Perhaps you’re going through a divorce, coping with a chronic —or terminal—illness, or readjusting to life after losing a loved one. After the initial shock has worn off, you might feel exhausted and depleted trying to handle your new circumstances. Or maybe you feel disengaged and resentful of the fact this is happening to you.
When facing life transitions, whether they’re welcomed or not, counseling can help you navigate the confusion and overwhelm you may be experiencing and help you gain perspective.
Facing A Crossroads In Life Brings Up Fear And Uncertainty
Whenever we face transitions in life, we experience developmental challenges that ultimately lead to self-growth. Although growth is a good thing for us, these transitions often subject us to growing pains we’re not prepared to handle. Along with positive self-reflection and rejuvenation, we may be coping with unforeseen negative feelings as we navigate through change.
The transitions we face in life often represent obtaining a goal that we set out to achieve. Nevertheless, anytime we are at a crossroads in life, it can bring up fear and uncertainty. When our lives are in flux, our emotional states are often heightened. We may feel equal measures of excitement and fear, self-confidence and doubt.
Transitions In Life Are Often Bittersweet
While our culture celebrates growth, achievement, and the pursuit of “a life well lived”, we commonly feel like we’re not allowed to acknowledge how bittersweet our achievements actually can be. Instead, we’re expected to unequivocally welcome new life opportunities with positivity even when secretly we may experience other unexpressed emotions, like loss or fear of the unknown. We may feel ashamed to admit we have misgivings when it’s a “happy” occasion like a new baby, marriage, or relationship.
Regardless of what life transition you’re facing—whether it’s divorce, retirement, job loss, or career change—counseling offers you a place to sort through your mixed feelings so you can find clarity. With therapy, life transitions no longer have to turn your life upside down.
Life Transitions Counseling Can Help You Gain Perspective
Even though outwardly you may convey a positive outlook to others about the change that’s taking place, inwardly you could be grappling with doubt or discomfort. Counseling allows you to discuss your life transitions openly and honestly without fear of judgment. Therapy is where you can examine what feelings are activated as well as explore any earlier experiences that your current situation may be stirring up.
Counseling offers you a deeper connection to how you feel, think, and cope with life transitions, especially those that are challenging or unwelcomed, such as chronic illness or preparing for end of life. Taking the time to sort out mixed emotions will help you come to greater self-understanding and acceptance of your circumstances.
What To Expect In Sessions
We will initially discuss your concerns by phone to determine we are a good fit and then in our first session delve further into the circumstances you’re experiencing. I will ask questions and offer comments as you more fully describe how your life transition is affecting you emotionally.
How you’ve handled and integrated previous transitional experiences often has an impact on how you’re currently functioning. This is particularly true when you feel confused about why you feel the way you do, struggle to cope with changes that aren’t going as you hoped, or can’t pinpoint why making desired changes in life has been difficult for you.
Counseling allows you to examine past life experiences your current transition is bringing up for you. As you recall times in the past when you experienced a transition and were able to successfully navigate it, you will build self-confidence as well as gain more self-awareness about how you move through the world.
Recognizing The Choice You Have In All Situations
I work from a psychodynamic and psychoanalytic perspective, exploring the unconscious aspects of yourself that contribute to current challenges. Becoming more aware of your internal life and how you interpret each experience will help you develop greater perspective. You will understand that how you’re feeling about your current transition may stem from a past experience, as well as acknowledge how circumstances now—and your reaction to them—are quite different.
Although not everything that happens to you is within your control, how you choose to respond to life circumstances always is. As we continue to work together, your capacity to sit with and experience a broad range of feelings will expand, allowing you to be thoughtful and measured before reacting in a knee-jerk manner. Over time, you will gain a greater acceptance of the emotional ambiguity life transitions cause and develop confidence in coping with changes.
Life transitions counseling allows for a fuller understanding of what you are struggling with, providing you with the emotional resilience to cope with whatever comes your way. Therapy will help you experience greater acceptance of your life circumstances, which will lead to greater satisfaction and a closer connection with yourself.
But You May Wonder Whether Life Transitions Counseling Is Right For You…
Why does it feel so hard to maintain equilibrium when changes happen in life?
Life presents us with many challenges—some that we desire, some that we don’t, and some that take us completely by surprise. Of course, change in its many forms initially upsets our sense of equilibrium. However, once we accept that change is happening whether we like it or not, it also provides us with opportunities for growth and development. And when we allow ourselves to engage in a fuller experience of life as it is, we find that we can thrive in changing circumstances.
Why is it so hard for me to celebrate my success?
It’s confusing when you invest a great deal of time, energy, and commitment towards something—whether it’s graduating from school, a promotion in your career, or other life goals—only to realize that the happiness you expected on the other side is elusive. Even when it’s something we’ve worked for, change can be difficult. Ignoring the misgivings or dissatisfaction you may be experiencing after reaching a goal can cause greater suffering.
Together, we can explore your mixed feelings and not dismiss what is causing you pain.
I can’t believe my relationship is over after all the work I put into it.
The end of a relationship is an emotionally painful life transition. When you are fully committed in a relationship that doesn’t work out, it may signify yet another example of things not going how you hoped for even after putting in the work. In counseling, we can learn more about why the breakup is causing you so much distress and, perhaps, understand why you feel so burdened and unappreciated in its aftermath.
The Changes You Experience Can Make You More Resilient
Transitions in life can be an opportunity for self-discovery and self-growth. For a free, 15-minute consultation, please call me at 415-522-7393 or click here to contact me.
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