What Happens If We Fight In Therapy
Life is complicated. We are all just doing our best to get through it in the ways that we know how.
As humans, we naturally crave connection with others. To have meaningful relationships. Whether that is with family, friends, or our partner - at the end of the day, we all want to know that we have a support system we can rely on and trust in when times get rough.
Our relationships can be wonderful at best and heartbreaking at its worst. Life gets messy and is not often just black and white. It's also shades of gray filled with little bursts of color.
Oftentimes, our relationships go "south" because of a lack of communication or healthy ways to resolve conflict. This often brings many people in for relationship counseling. Some will choose to go to relationship counseling by themselves - as a way to generally work on their own issues in regards to all relationships in their life. Others will go to relationship counseling with someone else - either as part of a friendship, family connection, or as partners.
But what happens if you fight during therapy? It may be surprising to hear, but this can actually be really beneficial.
What Happens If You Fight During Relationship Counseling
You're in a session and inevitably, something hard is going to come up. A touchy subject that you try to avoid. Or, maybe it's one that instantaneously causes an argument. And just like that, things are heated and argumentative. Sometimes this even happens with your therapist, bringing the very relationship struggles that you have had in other relationships into the therapeutic one, too.
It's Normal To Fight In Therapy
It's pretty common to get into an argument in front of your therapist. This is a time when you are airing out all of your grievances and issues that you have with the relationship. A lot of emotions are going to be swirling around in the air.
As humans, we have a tendency to want to keep things bottled up and out of the eyes and earshot of anyone who may hear our arguments. Relationship counseling should not be privy to this rule.
Truthfully, this is the exact reason for relationship conflict. Without seeing the places or words that you both will go to express what you are feeling, it can be harder for your therapist to help you through the issue at hand. So seeing the arguments and each of your style of conflict-resolution can be really helpful and healthy for the relationship in the long term.
Be Honest In Front Of Your Therapist
This doesn't mean being purposefully cruel about a loved one. It's important to remember to remain as honest as you can. Relationship counseling is the place where you can air out how you feel and know you have an outside perspective to cool things down if things get a little too intense.
How Relationship Counseling Helps
You may be wondering what the point of relationship counseling is.It can, however, help you in so many ways.
Communication
At some point, there was a breakdown in communication.Or maybe you never really knew how to communicate with each other. Relationship counseling can help you learn how to express your needs and wants AND listen to their needs and wants.
Conflict Resolution
We all have certain styles that come out when we are arguing with someone. So when you are getting into that fight in your session, this is why it's a good thing. It helps your therapist see what your style of confronting conflict is - which makes it something to work with in the therapy rather than continue to relive an approach to conflict that is not working for you in your relationships.
Relationship counseling can help you repair bonds and strengthen the connections you have with others. Whether it is with a friend or family member, you can reach a healthier place together. Let's connect so I can help you build stronger relationships.